The shadow that wants to keep me invisible

July 18th – Quiet thoughts at the dock, where shadows meet the light.

This is the part of me that whispers: Don't draw too much attention. Don't shine too brightly. Don't take up too much space.

It's why I downplay my own success. Why I hesitate to say, Hey, I made something beautiful – come see. Why I sometimes hide behind quiet captions and soft colors, hoping you'll notice, but not too much.

This shadow isn't loud. It's quiet. Almost invisible. And that's the whole point.

When I was younger, my parents were deeply overwhelmed, and I sensed it. So I learned not to be too loud. Not to take up too much space. Not to add to their burden. I became quiet, kind, easy to be around. I almost blended into the background.

Visibility didn't feel safe. It felt like a risk. One that might lead to shame, rejection, or just being too much.

So I learned to stay small. To be nice. To be humble. To be quiet. But deep down, I admired those who dared to be fully themselves. I still do. I cheer them on, repost their work, celebrate their voice.

But when it comes to me? I shrink. I soften. I disappear. And honestly... I'm tired of it.

I want to be proud of what I create. I want to say, Here I am. Not in a loud, spotlight way, but in a steady, grounded, heart-wide-open kind of way.

This fear of being seen is a shadow I'm learning to name. To sit with. To understand. And maybe one day, to hold hands with and say: Thank you for trying to keep me safe. But I don't need to hide anymore.

Because playing small doesn't protect me. It only keeps me from connection. From purpose. From joy.

So I'm starting small. By saying: I'm proud of my work. By sharing my voice a little louder. By letting the world see a little more of me.

Even when it feels terrifying. Even when my hands shake. Even when that old voice says, Who do you think you are?

If you've ever felt the same — like your light was too much, or your truth too big — I see you. And I hope this reminds you that your voice matters too.

Shadow work isn't just about going inward. It's about choosing to come out of hiding.

Since starting Selflavie, this shadow has become painfully present. I've had to meet it face-to-face again and again. Every time I post something that feels too raw, too honest, too me.

And once again, the only way through has been to gently stretch beyond the comfort zone. To share even when it feels scary. To trust that anything created with love will find its way.

This is also a shadow I've gently explored through journaling. The very same reflection prompts are included in the Gentle Shadow Journal, I wrote them first for myself. Because I needed a space to ask: Why do I still hide? What would it feel like to be fully seen?

And slowly, those pages helped me meet this fear with softness. Not to erase it, but to understand it.

And truthfully… your words, your support, your presence, they've been so healing. They mean the world. Every kind comment, every message, every "I felt this too" has helped me show up just a little more. Not as someone who has it all figured out, but as someone who dares to be seen, one soft step at a time.

More shadow reflections and soft moments on Instagram @selflavie. You're so welcome in this gentle space where you can be seen and grow at your own pace.

Soft hugs,
Selflavie