Soft truths about forgiveness

August 6th — Last night, the thunder reminded me: even storms can be a kind of release. 

There's a story we're often sold, that healing should be beautiful. That forgiveness is about finding peace quickly. That if you're still hurt, still angry, still confused, you're doing it wrong.

But what if that's not true?

What if real forgiveness doesn't always look like a sunrise and a soft smile?
What if it's not about feeling better, but feeling everything?

Because here's what I believe: Forgiveness isn't about silencing your pain.
It's about honoring it, before you let it go.

The phrase "Good vibes only" might look cute on a tote bag, but in real life, it's a recipe for spiritual bypassing.
It says: "Smile, no matter what."
It says: "Let it go, before you've even held it."
It says: "Don't be too much."

But forgiveness is messy.
It's full of questions, doubts, relapses, and waves.
It's crying over something you thought you'd already made peace with.
It's writing a letter you'll never send.
It's screaming in your car.
It's feeling compassion and rage in the same breath.

You don't have to "send love and light" to someone who deeply hurt you.
You don't have to rush to gratitude.
You don't have to make it poetic.

Because true forgiveness doesn't require you to lie to yourself.

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to say:
"This still hurts. And I'm allowed to say that. I am allowed to feel that."

Forgiveness is not a light switch. It's more like a tide. Coming in, pulling back, reshaping the shore every time. You don't have to rush it. You don't have to prove anything.
You don't have to glow your way through the grief.

The most radical forgiveness is the kind that whispers:
"You don't need to pretend you're over it to start healing."

So if you're not feeling good vibes today, that's perfectly okay.
There's space for you here.
There's space for your truth.
There's space for the storm and the calm.

And maybe, just maybe, that's where the real healing begins.

What's your relationship with forgiveness? Have you ever felt pressured to be over it too soon?

Let's talk in the comments or come sit with me on Instagram @selflavie. We don't do good vibes only. We do truth with tenderness.🩷

Soft hugs,
Selflavie