Soft Reflections on Imposter Syndrome: Gentle Ways to Cope

September 17th — I had just started my university studies when imposter syndrome appeared like a morning mist, settling over everything with a quiet veil of self-doubt.

What Imposter Syndrome Feels Like 

Imposter syndrome is that quiet, relentless fear of being "found out." It makes us question our skills, minimize our achievements, and believe that sooner or later, everyone will realize we don't actually know enough.

For me, imposter syndrome often shows up in my work in the IT field. Even though my current role is specialist and my contributions are truly valued, I still catch myself thinking: "I'm not really an expert. I just got lucky. One day they'll see I don't belong here."

The truth is, imposter syndrome doesn't discriminate. It shows up in studies, in work, in creative projects, in new roles. Especially when we step into something bigger than we've done before.

Why Imposter Syndrome Appears

Imposter syndrome often rises in seasons of growth. We've entered a new chapter — a new study program, a new job, a new challenge — and suddenly the gap between what we know and what we don't know yet feels unbearable.

Common triggers include:

• Perfectionism: the belief we should already know everything.

• Comparison: looking at others and forgetting they also struggle behind the scenes.

• Old messages: childhood or workplace patterns telling us we're never enough.

• Responsibility: realizing the weight of what's expected and fearing we'll fail.

The Gentle Truth

Here's what I keep reminding myself: if I already knew everything, I wouldn't need to study. If I already had all the answers, I wouldn't need to grow.

Learning doesn't prove I don't belong. Learning proves I'm exactly where I should be.

And yet, even with a specialist title and colleagues who value my work, I sometimes struggle to believe it myself. That's the paradox of imposter syndrome: even when we achieve something worth celebrating, the voice inside says it's not enough.

Maybe belonging has never been about knowing it all, but about allowing ourselves to keep showing up, to keep learning, to keep growing into the spaces that once felt too big for us.

Gentle Ways to Cope with Imposter Syndrome

1. Name it

When the thoughts come, I remind myself: "This is imposter syndrome talking. Not reality."

2. Collect evidence

I write down what I've actually accomplished — the projects I've finished, the skills I've gained, the times I've been appreciated.

3. Reframe with "yet"

Instead of "I don't know this," I add: "I don't know this yet."

4. Shift the focus

It's not about being perfect. It's about showing up, again and again.

5. Self-compassion

I ask: "How would I speak to a friend who felt like this?" And then I try to use that voice on myself.

6. Celebrate small wins

Every step counts, even if it feels small. Especially when it feels small.

Gentle Reminders for When Imposter Syndrome Shows Up

🌿 Doubting yourself doesn't make you a fraud. It makes you human.
🌿 If you didn't belong here, you wouldn't be here.
🌿 You don't need to know everything right now. You are here to learn.
🌿 Being a specialist doesn't mean knowing it all, it means growing into your field, one step at a time.
🌿 Love, not perfection, is what makes us show up again and again.

Final Reflection

Maybe imposter syndrome isn't proof that we don't belong. Maybe it's simply a sign that we are growing into something new.

A gentle question for you: Have you ever experienced imposter syndrome? If so, what's one gentle truth you could remind yourself of in those moments?

If these words resonated with you, come join me on Instagram @selflavie for more soft reflections, gentle reminders, and everyday self-love inspiration. 💌

Soft hugs,
Selflavie