Meet my first shadow

July 15th – Sitting with the part of me that won't stop worrying.

Some parts of us don't want to be seen. They're too afraid. Too ashamed. Too tender. So we bury them.

And yet… these hidden parts don't stay silent forever.
They surface in our thoughts, our fears, our patterns, often when we least expect it.

This week, I'm meeting three of my shadows. Not to fix them. Not to fight them. But to sit beside them gently and say, "I see you."

Let me introduce you to my first shadow: the part of me that always tries to stay in control.

It shows up as chronic worry. As overthinking. As needing to be prepared for everything, just in case something bad might happen.

This shadow was born in chaos. In a place where safety wasn't promised. And somewhere along the way, I found a painful way to cope: If I can't feel safe, maybe I can at least be in control.

But control doesn't bring peace. It only brings the illusion of it.

True peace begins where control ends, when I finally dare to exhale, even if I don't know what comes next.

I'm still learning. Not to banish the shadow, but to notice it. To recognize when I fall into the loop. When my thoughts start spinning. When I try to micromanage the things I can't actually change.

It's not easy. Worrying has always made me feel like I'm doing something. Like I'm protecting myself by staying one step ahead. But most of the time, it's just a spiral.

Now when I notice I'm starting to spiral, I try to pause. To take a conscious breath. To gently remind myself: I've already done what I can. And that is enough.

And then, slowly… I let go. One worry at a time.

Shadow work isn't always pretty. It's not quick, or easy. But noticing and naming the shadow brings a quiet kind of relief. A soft understanding. A bit more compassion.

This isn't something to conquer. It's something to meet, gently.

If this resonates, you might like the Gentle Shadow Journal. It's the same process I've followed myself. No pressure. No push. Just space. For the soft work that changes everything, little by little.

More soft moments, reflections, and shadow work on Instagram @selflavie. I would love to have you there. 

Soft hugs,
Selflavie