It Was Never True

November 24th — A quiet morning by the lake. Frosted reeds, sunlight on the water, and the kind of stillness that lets old stories finally loosen their grip. 

The Stories We Learned Too Early 

There are stories we learned long before we had the words to question them.
Stories our small selves absorbed because they had no other way to make sense of the world.

And for the longest time, we believed them — not because they were true, but because they were the only explanations that made us feel even a little safer.

Today I want to write about those stories. And whisper something our inner child should have heard a long time ago: "It was never true."

When someone withdrew or became distant

Our inner child believed:
"I must have done something wrong."
But — it was never true.
Adults withdraw for a thousand reasons that have nothing to do with a child's worth.

When the room felt tense or unpredictable

The child in us believed:
"It's my job to keep everyone calm."
But — it was never true.
You were never meant to be the emotional stabiliser for anyone.

When love felt inconsistent or conditional

Our small self learned:
"I have to be good to be loved."
But — it was never true.
Love that depends on performance isn't love, it's survival.

When a parent was overwhelmed, sad or angry

The child assumed:
"Their feelings are my responsibility."
But — it was never true.
You were never responsible for healing the adults around you.

When someone criticised, ignored or belittled

The inner child whispered:
"There must be something wrong with me."
But — it was never true.
Others' wounds were never your reflection.

When chaos was normal

The child believed:
"I have to be strong all the time."
But — it was never true.
Strength isn't the absence of softness. You were allowed to be held.

When you were punished for having needs

Your young self learned:
"My needs are too much."
But — it was never true.
Your needs were human. Someone else's capacity wasn't your fault.

When you had to guess what version of someone you'd get

You learned:
"If I try hard enough, I can make them love me."
But — it was never true.
Love isn't something you earn; it's something you receive freely or not at all.

A New Story

Healing begins when we return to that small version of ourselves and tell them gently:

"Sweetheart, none of that was your burden.
None of that was your fault.
The stories you built were survival, not truth."

Because the truth — the real truth — is this:

You were always worthy.
You were always enough.
You were never the reason.
It was never true.

A Soft Reflection for You 

Today, I want you to hold your little one gently — the part of you that learned to carry more than a child ever should — and whisper to them, softly: "Whatever it was… it was never true."

And if it feels right, you might also ask yourself — Which old story have I carried that was never mine to hold?
Let the answer come in its own time, with softness.

If this resonated… I share more gentle reflections on healing, self-love and inner growth on Instagram. You're welcome to join me there, softly: @selflavie. ✨

Soft hugs,
Selflavie