Gentle shadow work: what it is and why we start softly

July 14th – In the quiet, even the shadows soften.

The term "shadow work" might sound harsh or intimidating at first. It carries weight. And that makes sense. The concept was first introduced by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, who described the shadow as the unconscious part of ourselves, the aspects we repress, reject, or simply can't see. These shadow parts aren't inherently bad. In fact, many of them were once protective. But left unexplored, they tend to quietly influence how we feel, relate, react, and repeat.

Shadow work is the practice of gently bringing those parts into the light. Not to fix or fight them, but to understand. To make peace. To reclaim wholeness.

Here at Selflavie, we do shadow work differently. We start softly.

We don't dive headfirst into childhood trauma or painful memories without safety or support. We begin with curiosity, with kindness. We journal. We reflect. We ask gentle questions like:

- When do I feel most reactive?

- What emotions do I tend to avoid?

- What part of myself do I hide from others?

The goal isn't to "be better." It's to be more whole. More aware. More compassionate with ourselves.

Shadow work isn't always easy or pleasant. Meeting your own shadows can stir discomfort, doubt, or sadness. But even just noticing them, acknowledging what's been hidden, can bring unexpected relief. A quiet kind of self-understanding. Gentle compassion for the parts of you that once had to hide.

This isn't something to rush through. It's not a checklist or a performance. It's a process, one that unfolds in its own time, softly and truthfully.

If you're curious to explore shadow work in a soft, non-triggering way, I've created something for you: The Gentle Shadow Journal is now available in the Selflavie shop.

It's a 3-part guided journey to meet your shadow with safety and slowness. It includes grounding pages, soft reflection prompts, and affirmations to support you along the way. No pressure. Just space.

The Journal holds the same questions I've reflected on myself, softly and slowly, in seasons of growth and discomfort. Now I want to share them with you.

If you're new to this work and want to learn more, I also highly recommend:

"Owning Your Own Shadow" by Robert A. Johnson

"Meeting the Shadow" edited by Connie Zweig and Jeremiah Abrams

"Romancing the Shadow" by Connie Zweig

Any lectures or writings by Carl Jung himself

This week on the Selflavie blog and on my Instagram @selflavie, I'll be sharing personal reflections on my own shadows, the ones I've met, the ones I still resist, and how I'm learning to stay soft even when things get uncomfortable.

You're warmly invited to follow along.

Soft hugs,
Selflavie